Realisations
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: Alternate ending to the scene when Connie was in her office with Hayley Blake, Charlie and Rita in last nights episode (10.1.15) :D One-shot.


**Just what I'd have liked to see at the end of last nights show :) Everyone loves Charlie, he's like the father to everyone in the ED :3 **

**Anyway, let me know your thoughts on either this or/and the episode last night! I watched the trailer for next week on the BBC website and it looks like it's gonna be another emotional one for us Connie fans :( -Sophie x**

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><p>Connie sunk into her chair and placed her head in her hands, trying as hard as she could not to burst into tears at that exact moment.<p>

It had been a shit day, possibly the worst she had ever had. Tess decided to resign, and Grace decided she didn't want to live with her anymore. All she wanted to do was spend the day with her, and she threw it back in her face. Connie rubbed her temples as there were a sudden knock at the door.

"I'm busy." She said quietly but it opened anyway. The clinical lead looked up to see Hayley Blake stood in front of her desk.

"Miss Blake I really can't do this now." Connie said, her voice cracking as she cursed herself for showing weakness in front of this tornado of a woman.

"Did you find out who phoned social services?" She asked her innocently, and Connie's head shot up. "And posted that video online?"

The woman's eyes widened as she realised who had been the cause of all her grief. Hayley's eyes glinted evilly as her lips formed a spiteful smile.

"I told you I'd make your life hell." She hissed before walking out, almost knocking Charlie to the ground as she did so.

"Was that who I think it was?" He asked in confusion, looking from the corridor to the woman behind the desk.

Connie was silent, still trying desperately to hold herself together, until she suddenly came to a realisation.

"I've made a huge mistake." She whispered, grabbing her phone and unlocking it, just as Rita came to the doorway.

"Mrs Beauchamp, multi vehicle accident including a school mini bus. 3 in critical condition, ETA 5 minutes."

Charlie looked at their clinical lead who had paused her texting and instead stared straight ahead.

"Riiight, thanks Rita. Get Dylan in, if he can walk that's good enough for us. Oh, and tell Zoe to call the rest of the clinical team. Tess is in the staffroom, tell her to stick with us for just another few hours, ok?" He smiled at her and she nodded before walking off.

"That was my call." Connie said quietly from her desk.

"You're not fit to be here, never mind making any important decisions." Charlie said gently, shutting the door then turning to face her again. "Why don't you go home?"

"I can't I'm needed here." She replied as if on autopilot. The nurse looked down at her and sighed.

"What's going on Connie." He asked softly.

She looked up at the question. "I don't know what you mean."

"Look at you, you're practically in tears! Rita told me about your incident in resus earlier with the palsy case, which sounded so unlike you I wasn't going to believe her." He stopped for a moment. "But looking at you now, I can see she was telling the truth. Go home."

"I can't go home, not without my daughter." Connie said, hands shaking as she placed her phone in her drawer. "She's the one person in my life that I truly love and to find out she doesn't love me back-" she paused and took a deep breath. "Do you have any idea what that feels like, to know your own daughter doesn't love you? It feels like your whole life has been for nothing, that there's no point in being here if she doesn't even want you."

Connie stood and pushed her chair in, biting a nail. "When my parents died, I vowed the be the best mother I could to that beautiful baby girl. But I wasn't." She looked straight into Charlie's eyes, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. "I've failed her Charlie. Not only that, I've failed myself too. I'm a leading doctor and a mother, and that's it, that's who I am. But I had to rely on a band 6 nurse to do my work for me so I'm hardly leading am I, and my daughter would rather live her grandmother rather than me, so not even a proper mother either."

She stopped and placed a hand to her mouth, to muffle the sounds of her sobbing. The tears that had been building themselves up all day were coming in full force now and her cheeks glistened in the light from her window.

Charlie looked at her. This was meant to be Connie Beauchamp the ice queen, the wicked witch, the woman who had less emotion than a Brussel sprout. But watching her break down, slowly but surely, Charlie realised that this wasn't that Connie Beauchamp at all. This was the one who bottled up her emotions just to keep up her professional persona. This was one who wasn't a wicked witch at all- she had a daughter that she loved dearly, but couldn't cope with both her and her job.

This was one who was just Connie Beauchamp- the human being.

"Oh Connie." He whispered, overcome with shock and pity for the shadow of his clinical lead who stood before him.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Charlie." She sobbed, her eyes lost and afraid.

"Come here." He said softly and he put his arms out. She took them gratefully, for the first time since her father's death, and let herself be held and comforted.

And it felt good, being able to cry freely and having someone's shoulder to cry on. Charlie rubbed her back gently.

"It's going to be alright Connie." He soothed her, if slightly awkwardly. "It's going to be alright."


End file.
